Your first session:
It’s normal to wonder what you are getting yourself into, especially if this is the first time you’ve had therapy. Nerves, anxiety, fear, excitement, hope and many other feelings might be floating around.
Our first session together will be our chance to introduce ourselves fully and contract (to remind you of things in the contract, such as confidentiality and boundaries) so that I can answer any questions that may have come to you. Then you can tell me more about the problems you’re experiencing. It’s our first real opportunity to find out how comfortable you are with me and for you to find out if we can work together. You will want to know what I’m like if I’ll understand how you’re feeling, and if you can trust me. You might not be able to answer this right away, but you will have a feeling about it by the end of your session. Good therapy requires a good relationship between client and counsellor; the more you trust, the more you can open up and go deeper.
There may also be a chance that I cannot help you. If you need more help than I can, we can also discuss that. Your safety and welfare are my primary concerns, and I want to do what is best for you.
Working together:
Having a counsellor accompany you on that journey means you will never be alone in looking at some of the more painful parts of your life. Sometimes, this can happen in a few sessions or many. I will not tell you what to do or think, but I will help you realise the change in yourself, and sometimes, this takes a while.
Counselling or therapy is very different from talking to a friend. Often, family members or friends can help you through rough times. Still, sometimes you need someone who puts you at the centre, doesn’t get distracted by having their history with you, is separate from the main players in your personal drama, can provide a more objective viewpoint, and isn’t afraid to challenge you when necessary.
Some sessions will be easier than others, and you might feel lighter and the weight has been lifted. Sometimes, the reverse will be true, and you may not feel great after a session, especially if you have looked at more painful memories or gone to places that are uncomfortable for you, or you might have revelations that could shake you up. As counterintuitive as it may sound, feeling bad during therapy can be good and is often a sign of progress. It doesn’t last, but it is something to be prepared for.
Outside the counselling room, you will be going over things consciously or subconsciously, reflecting on things and starting to see things more clearly. It will change your perspective. However, change may take a while, depending on the nature of your concern. If it is a recent thing that has come up for you, it may be dealt with more quickly than deep-seated issues. It may also be that the thing you came in with differs from what we worked on. We will check in with each other regularly throughout the sessions to see whether we are working together. A counselling session should have you feeling that something true about you has been felt, heard, said and seen. However, it is essential to realise that once you start feeling better, that doesn’t mean the rough days are over.
The main thing is that I won’t tell you what to do, but we can examine things and see how you feel about them to help you choose the best option for you. The space we have is for you to share, explore, vent, or take the session however you want, but in a safe space.