Counselling, also referred to as therapy, provides a safe and confidential space for you to talk to a trained professional about your issues and concerns. Your therapist will help you explore your thoughts, feelings and behaviours so you can develop a better understanding of yourself and of others.
Your therapist will be impartial but understanding. They will listen to you without judgment and help you explore your thoughts and emotions. A therapist will not give you their opinions or advice or prescribe medication. They will help you find your own solutions – whether that’s making effective changes in your life or finding ways of coping with your problems. They may offer information, but they won’t tell you what you should think or do.
Your relationship with your therapist is very important. If you’re to work effectively together, you should feel safe and able to take risks by disclosing and discussing sensitive issues. You’ll get the best results from your therapy if you’re open and honest with your therapist and say how you’re really feeling. That includes being able to give them honest feedback on how you feel about your therapy and how you’re working together. There are many different types of therapist and therapy, so if you’re unsure about your therapist or their approach, you can look for another one.
(Adapted from the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists)
My Counselling Ethos
Things happen in life, some good, some bad. Sometimes we need help to sort out our thoughts and feelings on the things that cause us anxiety or conflict and to try to make sense of them if we can. People come to counselling for many reasons – they may be looking for answers, they may need a safe space to talk and get things off their chest, they may want company while they figure things out. Talking is good, talking helps get your thoughts and feelings in to the open, but not talking can also help, if that’s what you want to do. Anything you say, or don’t say, comes from you. So what is it I do?
When you have therapy, you want your therapist to not only truly understand you, but also have the ability to put themselves in your position. By being non-judgemental, giving you empathy, and being there for you, I can give you is a safe place to say the things you want to say and give you the space to say it.
I will listen to you and reflect back what I am hearing, what I am seeing, challenging where there is something that seems amiss, I’ll make sure I understand you. I may ask questions for clarification, and when I reflect back what I hear you say, I may be right in my interpretation of what I heard, but I may be wrong, and need you to tell me so. Simply put, you are the expert on you and clarifying what you said will help me understand things better, and maybe you will see something in yourself that you hadn’t before. I won’t tell you what to do, but we can look at things and see how you feel about them to help you choose the best option for you. The space we have is for you to share, explore, vent… however you want to take the session, but in a safe space.
If you decide to work with me, my main goal for our first meeting is to find out if you feel you can talk to me. If you think you can, then we have a good start and our therapeutic relationship will build and as I get to know you and your individual concerns, I’ll be able to help you identify precisely what you’re feeling and work things through you until you’re at place where you don’t need to say them, or are able to say them to other people and you don’t need me.
Therapy should only be done as long as it is needed by you, and you will know when you’re ready. Sometimes it takes a few sessions, sometimes many, but we can get there together.
Something to be aware of…
In the UK, the counselling profession is not under statutory regulation. People can call themselves a counsellor after a weekend of training, some after several years. Some may not have any training at all. When selecting a counsellor, be sure to check them out thoroughly before working with them. One of the best ways to do that is to check with one of the membership bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. These include:
- The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- The British Psychoanalytical Council (BPS)
- The National Counselling Society (NCS)
- The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP)
- And more…
The membership bodies have stringent criteria for joining them, however there are very good and long standing counsellors who are not members of any of these membership bodies. Registering with any of these organisations is a good start, but not everything. Simply put, be mindful when choosing your therapist. Look for memberships, reviews, check to see if they have the qualifications you would expect, and always make sure that you and your mental health are in a safe place.